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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22439461">You Look Good In A Shade Of Paranoia</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/belivaird_st/pseuds/belivaird_st'>belivaird_st</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Carol (2015), The Price of Salt - Patricia Highsmith</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 11:15:38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,065</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22439461</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/belivaird_st/pseuds/belivaird_st</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Mrs. Aird insists Therese is not away on a business trip, but for something else.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Carol Aird/Therese Belivet</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>131</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Carol was lying on the rug floor in the library at her in-laws’ New Jersey home with a fist resting the left side of her cheek. Rindy was playing around with her new Barbie toy cash register. She pressed a few buttons to make the drawer pop out. Pulling out a wad of fake play money, she handed the bills over to her mother.</p><p>“You get this many, Mommy!” she exclaimed. </p><p>“Oh, really? How much is that?”<br/>
Carol held the brightly green colored paper bills against her shirt before dropping some of it below. She picked the loose bills and had the money spread out. “Let’s count it together... Twenty... Forty...”</p><p>“Sixty... Eighty...” Rindy recited. She paused, looking stumped on the next number. Her mother grinned.</p><p>“What comes after eighty?”</p><p>Rindy shrugged her shoulders. She knew the number was a big one.</p><p>“One-hundred...” Carol spoke slowly, putting the fifth <b>$20</b> down below her. “Then after one-hundred comes one-hundred-and...?”</p><p>“Twenty?”</p><p>“That’s right, sweetheart, very good,”  Carol praised. “What comes after one-hundred-and-twenty?”</p><p>“Forty!” </p><p>“Can you say the whole thing?”</p><p>“One-hundred-forty!”</p><p>“Such a smart girl you are.”</p><p>Rindy picks up a few plastic pennies and nickels. “Grandpa says someday he’ll give me real money when Gramma’s not looking...”</p><p>Carol laughed good-naturally just as Harge’s mother approached the room. </p><p>“What’s so funny?” Jennifer Aird asked.</p><p>“Your husband,” Carol answered. </p><p>“I don’t find that to be humorous, so stop trying to be,” Jennifer huffed. “Lunch is ready.” </p><p>They had grilled cheese sandwiches with tomato soup and pickles. Rindy was eating her pickle spear from the insides, getting the vinegary juice and seeds all over her mouth and chin. Carol was blowing her tomato soup out from her spoon before taking a sip. She also dunk the corners of her whole grain wheat sandwich before taking a few bites.</p><p>“Are you still with Thelma?” Jennifer asked, folding her hands above her soup bowl at the table. For a woman who fussed about eating, she didn’t touch an ounce of her food. She stared hard at her daughter-in-law.</p><p>“You know that’s not her name,” Carol said, coolly. “And yes, we are still together. She’s in Chicago.”</p><p>“Chicago? For what purpose?” </p><p>“Work related stuff,” Carol said, staring at her toasted bread and melted cheese. “She’s doing some kind of interview for the paper.”</p><p>“And you decided to stay behind,” Jennifer smirked. She sounded rather wicked about it.</p><p>“Of course,” Carol said evenly. “I’ve got a child to raise and look after.”</p><p>“Rindy, use a napkin—not your sleeve!” Jennifer scolded the four-year-old, who was busy drying her face with her pink candy-cane striped color shirt. The grandmother waved a napkin over before turning back to Carol. </p><p>“You know she’s not in Chicago for work, right?” Jennifer went on. “It’s that old boyfriend of hers, she’s been running after to see. He lives there, remember?”</p><p>Carol reached for her glass of water next to her plate and took a sip. Rindy was licking tomato soup off the tip of her spoon. </p><p>“Richard’s married now,” Carol began.</p><p>“Not him, my dear. That Dannie fellow. His brother, Phil, sponsor’s Harge’s company. We are very good friends with the McElroys.”</p><p>“Of course you are,” Carol muttered, but she refused to believe that any mishap was going on. “You don’t know Therese like I do. She wouldn’t sleep with Dannie McElroy. They’re just friends.”</p><p>“Have you spoken to her at all today?” Jennifer questioned.</p><p>“We’ve text this morning... I tried calling her, but it went to voicemail.” </p><p>Jennifer kept smirking like a Cheshire Cat. The look was all too much for Carol. She was pissed now.</p><p>“Mommy, can I be done now?” Rindy asked.</p><p>“Yes.” Carol was reaching for her cell phone out of her jeans pocket. “I think we all are.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rindy darted past her mother as she was leaving the dining room area. Carol was staring down at the iPhone in her hands. She tapped Therese’s name on the touchscreen with her thumb before pressing the electronic device up against her ear.</p><p>The other line was dialing...</p><p>....And dialing...</p><p>...Then....</p><p>“Hello?”</p><p>“Hey, darling,” Carol said, feeling her heart rise near the back of her throat. Her fingers flew up to the golden string of stars hung around her neck. Carol started to fiddle around with the middle one with her thumb and index finger. She entered the library to sit on a leather arm of the sofa chair. Rindy was back on the floor with her toy register pressing a purple button to make a tiny roll of receipt paper spit out.</p><p>“How’s everything going?”</p><p>“Very well, actually. The interview was a success. I’m back at my hotel now...”</p><p>“I tried calling you this morning.”</p><p>“I was unavailable,” Therese spoke flatly. </p><p>Carol could hear the hint of impatience through her voice. She tried to remain calm with the face of Dannie McElroy invading her mind.</p><p>“We just had lunch. Rindy’s been playing with her new toy register.”</p><p>“Are you with the Airds?” </p><p>“Yeah,” Carol snorted, peering up at the large taxidermy deer head that was nailed to the brick wall above the fireplace. She knew Harge’s father liked to go hunting and fishing on his spare time. Grandpa John Aird and his veteran buddies were at a log cabin in the mountains.</p><p>“You know it’s Hell spending time with them—especially with Mrs. Aird,” Therese scolded. “Why do you put up with it? It’s like you’re doing it on purpose.”</p><p>Carol rubbed above her brows, closing her eyes. “You’re right, but Rindy likes visiting her grandparents. And when she’s happy, I’m happy.”</p><p>“You don’t sound happy. What’s wrong?”</p><p>“It’s nothing, really. Something what Jen said earlier. It’s foolish to even think—”</p><p>“What did she say?” Therese demanded.</p><p>Carol paused. She could now hear Rindy singing quietly to herself in the background. She started to picture Therese alone in her hotel suite, sitting on one of the comfy-looking beds, wearing a men’s work shirt half-buttoned showing a lace bra underneath.</p><p>
  <i>“Carol. What did she say to you?”</i>
</p><p>“That you weren’t going to Chicago for work purposes. You were going there for something else. Dannie McElroy resides in the Windy City, apparently.” Carol took a deep breath with her left hand dropping onto her lap.</p><p>There was no response from the other line. It went on for so long, Carol switched the cell phone to the other ear before gnawing her thumbnail, nervously. </p><p>Then, finally,</p><p>“I want to kill her,” Therese snapped, causing Carol to slip off the leather armchair making her stand on her socked feet. “I've had it with her evil trickery and grotesque tall tales! She’s lying to you, Carol. Don’t eat the crap she’s feeding you!”</p><p>“It’s so like her to put me on edge. She’s a pro.” Carol was biting her bottom lip with her teeth, shaking her head.</p><p>“When I get back and see her, I’m going to break her neck,” Therese growled. “Dannie and I are just good friends. I love you, Carol. Always.”</p><p>Carol broke into a teary smile as she was standing in front of a wide bookshelf, brushing dust off a brass horseman paperweight with a finger before rubbing the particles off her nose.</p><p>“And I love you, too,” she sniffled. She took another deep breath, feeling much better now.</p><p>They hung up soon after that. Carol shoved her cellphone back in the pocket of her jeans before heading towards the bathroom to splash her face. Rindy’s grandmother stood by the doorframe of the kitchen, looking mighty proud of herself.</p><p>“Are you going to be alright, Carol?”</p><p>“Peachy,” she clipped. “I'm done being the fly in your web of woes, Jennifer. The mind games are over.”</p><p>Before Harge’s mother had the chance to respond, Carol confidently walked away.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Say goodbye to your grandmother,” Carol told Rindy when they were just moments away from leaving. </p><p>“Bye, Gramma,” Rindy recited sadly, falling into Jennifer’s arms, allowing the older woman to peck her all over with kisses.</p><p>“Goodbye, sweetheart,” Mrs. Aird squeezed the child tight. “If anything goes wrong, you make sure to call us...”</p><p>Carol was chewing her thumbnail and spat out, “What could go wrong, Jen?”</p><p>“...And remember to stay out of trouble,” the grandmother went on. “God sees everything...” she pulled away from the girl and gave her a small pat on the cheek before rising back up to give Carol one final, satisfying look. “Give Therese my best...”</p><p>“She doesn’t need it,” Carol scornfully answered back. She took her daughter’s hand and started pulling themselves out of the countrystyle mansion towards the parked car in the roundabout driveway.</p><p>They stopped at McDonald’s for dinner. While Rindy was busy playing with her new Happy Meal toy, Carol had put Therese on speaker phone, telling her how great it felt for sticking up in front of Harge’s mother.</p><p>“...the look she gave me right after...” Carol guffawed.</p><p>“I’m proud of you,” Therese replied. “I think for her birthday, we should get her an urn and tell her it’s a flower pot!”</p><p>Carol laughed.</p><p>“I should be home tomorrow morning...”</p><p>This remark made Carol quiet.</p><p>“Gee, I was hoping I’d see you later tonight...”</p><p>“The next flight’s in the morning. I’m sorry... Do you still trust me...?”</p><p>“Why of course I do,” Carol snorted, “What a silly question!” The aftertaste of Diet Coke she ordered had become stale in her mouth. The lingering smell of Rindy’s French fries were giving her a headache.</p><p>“I love you, baby.”</p><p>“Love you, too.”</p><p><i>“...Love you lots, Rin-Rin!”</i> Therese shouted to the four-year-old.</p><p>
  <i>“Love you, Tez!”</i>
</p><p>Carol ended the call. She rolled down her window to let the cool wind blow her face.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Carol laid awake the next morning staring up at the ceiling with one hand stretched upon the spare pillow that belong to her female partner. Therese was not laying beside her. She was not home at all. Squinting down at her cell phone, Carol saw one missed call left onscreen. Harge’s name in bold print. She put down the iPhone. Her ex-husband could wait. Carol could hear the TV blasting on full volume in the living room. Rindy was an early bird just like her father and had been watching cartoons for three hours nonstop.</p><p><i>“Mommy, come play Adventure Chelsea’s treehouse with me!”</i> Rindy spoke in one, wholesome breath. She was sitting on the floor in front of the television set with toy pieces scattered everywhere. Carol made her way through the room and snatched the remote off the couch cushions. She lowered the volume on the TV with a cereal commercial playing.</p><p>“How can we do anything with the TV blasted so loud?”</p><p>Rindy laughed as Carol crossed her eyes at her before going to the kitchen to make some coffee.</p><p>Therese had just arrived back in New York and was getting out of the lyft driver’s car outside the apartment. She thanked him as he hauled out the roll-on suitcase from the trunk. She pushed pull the handlebar and wheeled the travel bag across the street towards the sidewalk curb; sipping iced coffee through a straw.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ice cubes rattled in the plastic Starbucks coffee as Therese stood and pulled her own keys out from her blazer jacket pocket. She had let herself in the apartment and kept her travel gear by the stairs.  Entering the living room, she saw the back of Rindy’s head facing the flatscreen TV viewing an episode of Nick Jr.’s Shimmer &amp; Shine.</p><p><i>“Tez!”</i> </p><p>Rindy dropped the freckled Chelsea doll on the floor as she scrambled on her bare feet to come give the young woman a hug. Therese smiled as she held onto the four-year-old once the child slammed into her in full force. Setting the iced coffee down on the small table displaying a hosta plant, she pulled Rindy off the ground with free hands and kissed her loudly on the face.</p><p>“I missed you,” Therese squinted her eyes while they rubbed noses. “You’ve been watching cartoons all morning?”</p><p>“Uh huh,” Rindy said, grabbing hold of the amethyst rock wrapped in silver laying on Therese’s collarbone. </p><p>Therese put her down and walked towards the mess of toys. Rindy picked up a plastic toy binoculars and rolled-up treasure map that came with her Chelsea doll’s treehouse set.</p><p>She snuck up behind Carol at the kitchen counter sink. Sliding her arms around the older woman’s waist, Therese buried her nose into the back of Carol’s ear.</p><p>“Hi,” she whispered.</p><p>“Hello,” Carol replied daintily. She then raised up her hand to hold the back of the woman’s head before turning around to face her. “There’s coffee made.”</p><p>“I got Starbucks,” Therese said, pulling themselves free to stand back in her black ankle boots. “There’s nothing going on with Dannie by the way.”</p><p>Carol’s smile shortened. Therese waited and watched her before finally saying,</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>“I know you’re thinking about it,” Therese went on with a scoff.</p><p>“I wasn’t,” Carol protest, feeling attacked now. “Can we just drop the subject and get on with the day, please?” </p><p>“Fine.”</p><p>Carol now turned her back to grab the jar of sugar with Therese leaving her there.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Rindy was riding her tricycle ahead of Carol and Therese along the neighborhood sidewalk wearing a L.O.L helmet and velcro strap-on sneakers. A few people were stepping out of the way as she rhode past them and kept hitting the metal bike bell attached to the side handlebar. Her high, active voice could be heard through the mid-afternoon.</p><p>Therese peered over and saw Carol raising her phone up in eye-level with the camera setting on. </p><p>“Come be in the picture,” she said.</p><p>“Why? You hate selfies,” Therese pointed out.</p><p>“I want to send a photo out to Jen and show her whose boss.”</p><p>Therese leaned her head closer until the camera phone captured her onscreen. She made a funny face to match with Carol’s and held still as the picture was taken. Carol took another one this time of Therese kissing her on the cheek. Both photos were sent to Harge’s mother with a caption saying: </p><p>
  <b>We are still here!</b>
</p><p>“Whoosh,” Carol responded by hitting the forward arrow sign.</p><p>“You, nerd,” Therese grinned.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Turn left! Rin!” </p><p>“This way, honey...”</p><p>Carol and Therese were looking back at Rindy pedaling towards the duck pond where she spotted a few of them cleaning their feathers and gliding through the stilled water. The ducks had been the most exciting thing she had seen during her ride. She wanted to go feed them.</p><p>“Mommy, can we get some bread for the ducks?” </p><p>“Not today. Come here, please,” Carol answered.</p><p>“Next time we’ll go feed the ducks,” Therese added. She made a waving gesture for the child to come along. Rindy sadly waved goodbye to the birds. Carol pulled her phone out and pressed it up against one ear.</p><p>“Hello?”</p><p>“You don’t answer the goddamn phone anymore?”</p><p>Harge’s voice was angry and full accusatory through the other line. His ex-wife could be just as hysterical maybe a little bit more.</p><p>“That’s a good reason right there, Harge,”<br/>
Carol spat. She began itching her denim-clad shin with the heel of her sandal flat. She had been such in a relaxed mood in the park. Now Rindy’s father had the urge to call her and ruin everything. </p><p>“Where are you?” </p><p>“At the park with Therese and Rindy. We’re all having a wonderful time...”</p><p>“Let me say something,” Therese said, stretching her hand out with Carol playfully swatting her away.</p><p>“Mother wants you over for dinner,” Harge spoke on.</p><p>“I’ll have to cancel it,” Carol said, gazing up at a monarch butterfly flapping its wings through the pale blue sky. “Therese just got back from a business trip, so I’ll be spending time home with her.”</p><p>“Tell him to ‘fuck off’ and be done with it,” Therese commanded. </p><p>Carol smirked. Harge now wanted to know why she  sent that selfie out to Mrs. Aird. </p><p>“To prove how wrong she was!”</p><p>“On what?”</p><p>Therese snatched the iPhone and hung up. Carol looked at her, bewildered.</p><p>“Who are you, and what have you done with my darling?”</p><p>“Let’s head back.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Carol shook out a box of Nickelodeon’s Baby Shark mac and cheese into a sauce pan filled with boiling  water on the kitchen burner stove top for Rindy’s choice of lunch. She had Alexa play Jade Bird through the portable speaker from her phone. Therese was laying on the living room couch with Rindy crawling on top of her; plopping a stuffed rainbow horn unicorn on top of the woman’s head. Therese could feel the child’s kneecaps digging into her shoulderblades.</p><p>Rindy pitched a giggle once Therese pulled her thin arms out from underneath to tickle the little girl sideways. Rolling herself around, she held onto Rindy as the girl laid against her; cheek resting on breastbone. The unicorn had toppled over with its head buried between cushions. </p><p>The TV was playing a rerun episode of <i>Spongebob Squarepants.</i></p><p>Carol announced when lunch was ready. Scraping a fork into the metal sauce pot, she dropped an equal amount of the cheesy shark macaroni onto the plates for both her young partner and daughter with grape tomatoes she rinsed out thoroughly in the sink.</p><p>Therese walked in a pair of galaxy ankle socks towards the cupboards and grabbed some cups. Rindy climbed one of the chairs to sit at the table and set her unicorn on the cloth placemat beside a vase of wildflowers. She leaned forward and cupped a hand over portable speaker to muffle our the volume.</p><p>“Hey, don’t touch that,” Therese warned her, looking back at her while pouring Juicy Juice in a plastic drinking cup.</p><p>“It’s too loud,” Rindy covered her ears. She wasn’t too crazy about Father John Misty’s voice.</p><p>“Ask Mommy nicely if she can turn the volume down...”</p><p>“Mommy, can you?”</p><p>“Yes, love. Hold on.”

</p>
<p>Carol picked up the plates and brought them over to the table where the silverware was laid. She grabbed her phone to lower the music. Therese brought over the drinks and gave Rindy her pineapple mango juice. Sitting with one leg folded and foot tucked underneath, she picked up her fork and began to eat.</p><p>Rindy began humming the Baby Shark jingle while spearing her cheesy noodles. Carol went back to the sauce pot to serve herself the rest of the food.</p>
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